Who are you and where are my pants?

So I thought pulling up this blog after five years would make me cringe, but really it only made me appreciate my youthful gusto (does it seem like I worked out everyday? I can’t even remember, but you go girl.) and my persistent love for internet memes. I guess that’s what happens when you are no longer in high school and are secure enough to admit that you’re blogging in bed in the dark with a kleenex shoved up your runny left nostril while heavily mouth breathing (thank you, cold).

Speaking of the internet, while technically not a meme, this is the most amazing thing I’ve seen on it all week: Why are pandas endangered (sorry in advance if you are particularly sensitive to the plight of the panda). P.S. Apparently pandas poop up to 40 times a day. Wow, it’s a wonder they even have time to climb trees. Maybe this is a lesson for humans? Forget stool softener; just go straight to the bamboo aisle. P.P.S. Apparently female pandas only ovulate once per year and are only fertile 2-3 days per year. Maybe that’s why they’re endangered?? Okay, sorry Ling Ling, I’ll stop talking about things I know nothing about now.

Back to the last five years. Some stuff has happened!

1. My team at work was relocated to Seattle. I.e. we were politely told to move to a state with no sun or find another job. I chose the latter and transferred internally (to the MOST STRESSFUL job in the world. For someone that doesn’t often utilize her tear ducts, this job brought me to tears, multiple times. And almost once in the office. It was ridiculous.).

2. We bought a house. It was built in the 1960s and was entirely original (helloooo pink bathtub and woodgrain toilet seats). We vowed to redo it ourselves over time. I got creeped out (partially because the toilet bowl that accompanied that woodgrain toilet seat was so wide that I was afraid I was going to fall in every time I peed), and we ended up hiring people to redo the entire interior a few months after moving in. No sweat was shed during this process.

3. We got a puppy! His* name is Bailey, and he is now 2.5 years old. He also has a Facebook page. *We thought Bailey was a boy’s name. After correcting 99.9% of the general public, we’ve discovered that apparently it is not.

4. I left that stressful job for a new one at an entirely different company. And I like it. Minus the commute. Don’t even get me started on that. But still a huge net positive. Phew.

5. After nine years of scoping me out, Denis deemed me a suitable life mate, and we got married. The wedding may have been justalittlebit Harry Potter themed, and it was a magical gathering of our favorite muggles (Denis, don’t groan. I know you are groaning right now. Stop it!).

6. I turned 30. It was very anti-climactic. I was eight months into a pregnancy that was marked by nine months of unrelenting (but, fortunately, mostly vomit-free) nausea. Regardless, it happened. And it was not traumatic.

7. Seven weeks ago, we had a child. Holy smokes. Her** name is Brooke. I’m currently on maternity leave and am thinking that this blog may be a good “adult” outlet for me. Kiddo is cute and lovable and all, but homegirl ain’t talking back if you know what I mean. **Totally double checked the gender before finalizing the name this time around.

This is Brooke at one month. She likes us a lot.

Okay, time to cat nap before Brooke needs my milk cans again. Pictures and more ramblings to come in the future!



Random crap Mondays

We got back from houseboating yesterday, and I spent today at my desk feeling like the world was swaying. Oh well, nothing that a couple surprise belated birthday cakes from co-workers can’t compensate for. Oh, and the leftover cake from Denis in the evening may have helped too. Wheeee SUGARRRRR RUSH!!!!!!!!

*Ahem* moving on…

1. Ke$ha’s cd is horrific. I chose to run today without music even though it caused me to think nothing but “IamboredIamhotIamhungryIambored…” the entire time, because I love myself too much to force another round of Maneater.

2. Cute kids are still cute using Hipstematic. Virginie’s (Denis’s sister) kids on the car ride to Lake Shasta are proof pudding. Hm, pudding is a funny word.

I also have a picture of Dylan flicking me off, but I’m not going to post it in case he wants to run for President one day.

3. Finding doughnut recipes to bake in your brand new doughnut pan works a lot better when you don’t spell it “donut”.

4. Baking doughnuts in your brand new doughnut pan works a lot better when you don’t waste an entire hour drooling over random doughnut pictures on the internet like a porn addict. And if you actually have eggs.

5. Gap should sell their pants for twice the price. I put these freshly washed babies on in the morning, and they fit pretty well. But by the end of the day, they had stretched out so much that I could have put 2 Paulas in them (and that’s 2 Paulas post-3 slices of cake). LAME.

6. And last, but definitely not least, congratulations to my friend Jasmine on her engagement!! So excited for her and Nathan. They are pretty awesome, and they do cool things like dress funny.


Vacation time!

Today was a much better day than yesterday, even though I was balls exhausted from being so squirmy last night.

Highlights included –

1. Eating cold pizza for breakfast followed by a jug (seriously) of coconut water (breakfast of champions?) while watching Jersey Shore before work

2. A *free* catered Indian buffet at a lunch meeting (naanerdose)

3. A career development talk that didn’t suck

4. The realization that I only had two days of work this week and FOUR days of vacation starting tomorrow

5. An awesome dinner at Casa de Cobre with my parents

6. A brand spankin’ new food processor! I don’t know why, but I’ve been really wanting to obliterate all food into teeny tiny pieces lately.

7. Denis buying me the most ginormous box of flavor blasted goldfish known to man to keep me happy on the houseboat

Great success!

I’m off to bed, since I am crazy and have to wake up at 4:45 tomorrow.

One day until houseboating

Today was emotionally hard and draining.

I kind of want to buy this from RueLaLa right now. Unfortunately, I think I need to buy a wall to hang it on first.

I’m going to go look at this image more and watch Jersey Shore. Hopefully tomorrow will be más bueno.

Where I’ve been

Hello! I’m back from a long weekend in Tahoe, where we went to celebrate our friends’ wedding. Friday was the bachelorette party (woot woot), Saturday was the rehearsal dinner and Sunday was the wedding. It was AMAZING, and we’re so happy for Tina and John.

I have a bunch of pictures that are being held captive in my camera, but until then, here are a few favorites from my phone.

The rainy view from the cabin owned by a member of the bridal party.

The bride-to-be post-bachelorette boat outing and pre-night time festivities. I have no idea what was in that drink, but I think it contained the word “dirty” in the name and it definitely made Tina look like she was ingesting lighter fluid.

The morning after the bachelorette, Denis and I went to the BEST breakfast/lunch place EVER in South Lake Tahoe called Sprouts. They have awesome smoothies and pretty much put homemade salsa, avocado and monterey jack on everything. We ended up going there two more times. Yup, that’s right. We ate there three times in three days.


On an unrelated note, Denis’ shirt in the above picture is really soft.

Before the wedding, Denis and I went on a short hike around Emerald Bay. We also took a picture with a sports bra-wearing Paula in it (I was trying to avoid tan lines), but I decided to spare you the site of my fluorescent white tummy.

The newlyweds outside the venue. P.S. Edgewood is beautiful.

The groom is Irish, so his relatives from Ireland taught everyone how to do an Irish jig. I should say, “tried” to teach everyone.

The bride tearing it up on the dance floor.

Such a fun weekend! Hopefully the shock of being back at work tomorrow won’t kill me.


This cuteness just blew up in YO’ FACE!

So as I’ve posted about before, we are (not very successfully) looking for a house. We currently live in a midget hut  small one bedroom apartment, and it is seriously cramping my soul. Plus, we really want to own a place in order to feel like we have a legit  home (as opposed to the 6 or so places we’ve rented in not as many years) and so that we can do crafting projects! (Okay, maybe that last part is just me.)

One other HUGE benefit of being a home owner is that we will be able to have a dog! Can. Not. Wait. :: Slobbers all over myself in excitement::

Hopefully Denis will be able to tell the two of us apart.

Some girls have dreamed about their weddings since they were five. Growing up with a highly allergic dad and an animal-averse mom, I’ve been dreaming about my future puppy since I was five.

Here are the two candidates:

A Shiba Inu

Or Viszla

They’re kind of awkward looking, just like me! Match made in heaven.

Okay, I’m off to do laundry and finish up some work. My life is so glamorous.

Does this make me look nekkid?

My $15 dress came in the mail! I think it looks pretty good, but I’m worried that I look a bit… naked with it on. Ruh roh?

Also, on an unrelated note, I totally have Iyaz “Pretty Girls” stuck in my head right now. There’s a lot of pretty girls in this city/ There’s a lot of pretty girls in this town/ Gotta choose the right one/ Gotta choose the right one/ lalalalalalala! So good.

Second to last random thing – I was thinking about what present to get my friend for her bachelorette party on Friday. I looked online for do-it-yourself gifts and saw these on a blog.

Really, really cute. But unfortunately I don’t have enough time to pull something like this off. I guess I’ll just go with something all skanky panky instead.

Okay, LAST thing – I promise! I forgot how much I love Trader Joe’s. I went there after work and spent $60 on deliciousness. I also bought my first ever tub of protein powder, because my body felt like an old woman and I decided to skip my planned workout to recover. I’m starting to wonder if I’m not getting enough raw, bloody, juicy MEAT (mostly because I am not a huge fan of things that can be raw, bloody and juicy all at one time, as a general rule). After staring blankly at the supplement section for several minutes, I ended up walking away with Aria, because it was the cheapest. It’s supposedly formulated for women, but now Denis wants to use it too. Hopefully his boobies don’t get bigger than mine.

Clearly, I have a frozen pizza problem. MmmMMmm chez.

Okay I’m off to watch last night’s Bachelorette. Mustconcentrateontheawkwardrelationshipsgoodbye!